The entire walk over, I repeat to myself, “You can leave anytime you want, you can leave anytime you want, you can leave anytime you want.” I consider throwing up in the alley next to the bar but think better of it. At the bar, I meet a somewhat cute guy who nervously asks me if I’m here for “the event,” because clearly saying “speed dating” to a girl at the bar would be too mortifying. Back in the room, there are now two girls, three men who seem to have never spoken to women before, and a handful of men cute enough to maybe make out with drunk in a bar. I decide to check back in with the hostess, only to find a very cute guy in a nice suit gesticulating wildly and demanding to know where the heck the organizer was. It’s now 30 minutes past the time that the event was supposed to begin.When I get inside, the hostess gestures generally toward the back room. The organizer maybe should have read those emails about arriving 30 MINUTES EARLY OR YOUR SPOT WILL BE GIVEN AWAY.When everyone was ready, the buzzer sounded and the speed dating began.The first girl I sat down with was 21, much too young for me. The third woman was really ugly and I caught a very bad smell from the fourth.It does have a ridiculous factor about it, but, hey, you never know who you may meet if you don't go out and try. After all, misery loves company and two broads are better than one. I decided I needed a partner in crime in this little adventure, so I dragged... We have known each other since we were 15, so we have had many adventures together. The women were seated on a couch while the men were on a bench and, after each conversation, the men would move down the row.
I've been talking about it, thinking about it and wanting to do it for ages. He has a 16-year-old son who is, as he put it, "the light of my life." I don't know if he's "the one", but he's definitely a great possibility. On a scale of 1-10, I'd put it around a 6, maybe 6.5. Probably, especially now that I have the hang of it and realize that is isn't so bad.
Armed with my Broadminded recording equipment, a large glass of Pinot Noir and Allie by my side, I was ready to begin my quest to find "The One". It was just like a conveyor belt, which was fitting, since Allie and I felt like Lucy and Ethel, but instead of delicious gourmet chocolates speeding past us, we had Milk Duds.
I've had my radio show for over six years and can talk to anybody -- or so I thought. In some cases 90 seconds felt like three, but in most cases, 90 seconds felt like an eternity. 189" from Chicago who couldn't wait to tell me he was a lawyer.
Approximately two months after the man I thought I was going to have babies with and I broke up, I decided to plunge back into the dating scene.
I hadn’t had any kind of rom-com meet-cute with a hunky guy, no friends were begging to set me up, and my last experiences with online dating had gone like this: guy who cried on our first date because his dad left when he was a kid, guy who farted in the movies so loudly that the old lady in front of us shushed him, and guy who called me a whore during brunch and then asked me out again.